#AMALAYER indeed

  1. We see a video of a hysterical woman going ballistic on a lady security guard. (note that I did not use the word “Lady” because it does not fit the person)
  2. The Lady Security Guard looked very calm and composed while being verbally abused.
  3. We notice the incorrect pronunciations and grammar and start to make fun of it.
  4. The internet has identified another person to be Cyber-Bullied not realizing the effects of this on her personal and professional life.

   Taking a few steps back trying to analyze things about this video, I realized a couple things.  First, any reactions are initially triggered by an initial action. Secondly, we don’t  really know what the reason was for her to overreact like this.  She may or may not have a reasonable explanation for reacting like this and the only way for us to find out is if we understood the whole story.  I am curious as to what the Lady Security Guard did to trigger this kind of reaction from her.

   To close this short opinion of mine. I am not in any way saying that what she did was right.  There are more civil ways of dealing with whatever it is that happened and this is not one of them.

   I hope she tells the whole story so people will understand.

And women thought they knew everything about cheating.

12 Surprising Facts About Cheating
by The Hurtful Truth

Fact #1: Most men are still in love with their wives when they cheat.
     Men who cheat haven’t fallen out of love; they’ve become unsatisfied with the current sate of it. “Cheating usually occurs in the phase of companionate love, when couples begin to settle down, have kids and solidify the life being built together,” says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD. While they’re fulfilled in some areas, like being a provider, the romance may be missing. “We more often think of women complaining about a lack of romance, but men feel it, too,” says Dr. Brosh. “They frequently suffer in silence, believing they can’t get what they want from their spouses.” To avoid this in your marriage, plan nights out together, set aside time for sex and discuss hopes and dreams–not just workdays and your son’s last soccer game.

Fact #2: Men usually cheat with women they know.
     Cheaters don’t generally pick up random women in bars. “My first husband cheated on me with a childhood friend,” says Diane* from New York City. “His family was close to her family, so they never lost touch.” Intimacy expert Mary Jo Rapini explains, “A lot of women think that all cheating women are floozies-not true. The relationships are usually friendships first.” In fact, more than 60% of affairs start at work, according to Focus on the Family. A good idea: Make sure your husband feels more connected to you than to his business partner. “Spouses go to work, take care of their kids and do separate things at night. That has to stop,” says Rapini. She suggests always going to bed at the same time and cuddling.

Fact #3: Men cheat to save their marriages.
     “Men love their spouses, but they don’t know how to fix their relationship problems, so they go outside their marriages to fill any holes,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Susan Mandel, PhD. Men want it all and have the skewed notion that another woman will make the longing for something more disappear. Then, they can live happily ever after with their wife–and their mistress–without confronting the real issues.

Fact #4: Men hate themselves after affairs.
     You may think of cheaters as men without morals, but while they may like what they did, they tend to despise themselves after their indiscretions. “If he puts his ego to the side, he’ll feel like a piece of garbage,” says relationship expert Charles J. Orlando, author of The Problem with Women…Is Men. “After all, he’s betraying another human being who he claims to care about, so that takes its toll on every part of his psyche.” A cheater can feel as though he’s failed as a man.

Fact #5: Cheaters often get friskier with their wives when affairs begin.
     Just because a husband’s touchy-feely doesn’t mean his marriage is on firm footing. “When a man starts cheating, he becomes hyperactive sexually,” says Rapini, explaining that his sex drive has been awakened, and his wife is still the one with whom he feels most comfortable sexually. If you notice a sudden change in your husband’s sex drive, it should raise a red flag. Be on the lookout for the switch to flip off again. “After the affair is solid, he may begin to pull away,” says Rapini.

Fact #6: Women cheat just as much as men, and their affairs are more dangerous.
     An Indiana University study shows that men and women cheat at the same rate. But “the reasons the sexes cheat are different,” says Orlando. He explains women are more likely to cheat for emotional satisfaction. “Online cheating–without any physical contact–is the most damaging type of infidelity,” says Orlando. Becoming emotionally invested in another person means you’ve likely checked out of your marriage. But if it’s just sex, it’s less about attachment and more about a hurtful mistake.

Fact #7: A wife often knows her husband’s cheating.
     How could Tiger Woods’s ex, Elin Nordegren, and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ex, Maria Shriver, not have known what their high-profile husbands were up to? They probably did, but couldn’t bear to acknowledge it. “At one level, I knew, but my denial was so strong,” says Lily* from Toronto, Canada. “The pain, had I accepted it at that time, would have been too horrendous, so I had to process it slowly.” According to Dr. Brosh, the jilted celebrities were likely doing the same thing: choosing what they could live with for the sake of their kids or to avoid humiliation and the fallout.

Fact #8: A couple will never work it out when the husband is in the midst of an affair.
     They could agree to work on things, but it won’t matter. If he’s still in the throes of a hot, new romance, nothing a woman does will drag him out of it. “He’s got such positivity happening, without all the drama that exists in the established relationship,” says Orlando. The marriage will likely fail, unless he decides on his own accord that life isn’t better with the other woman. So the key is prevention. Continue to be the woman he first fell for throughout your marriage. “Women often turn from a loving girlfriend into a nagging wife. Men aren’t attracted to that.” Dole out compliments and surprise him with sex–don’t just yell at him about that towel on the bathroom floor, suggests Dr. Mandel.

Fact #9: Affairs can often fix a marriage.
     Is infidelity the kiss of death for a couple? Not always. Although a new relationship is exciting, “an affair can rekindle the marriage,” says Orlando. “Men realize who they want for the rest of their lives and that the new relationship isn’t as perfect as they thought.” But think hard before returning to a cheater. “Flings can highlight how little self-control someone has,” explains Orlando. Still, if it was truly a one-time slip, it’s possible to get back on track.


Fact #10: Even after rebuilding the marriage, a husband may still miss the affair.
     Sadly, he might love his wife and want to salvage the marriage, but he doesn’t totally forget about the affair. “He might miss the great things about the other woman-fun, zero responsibilities, sex, the rush or the chase–but oftentimes he misses how he feels about himself when he was with her, which is more damaging if he’s trying to return to his marriage,” says Orlando. Again, acting as you did when the relationship was new could help.

Fact #11: A cheater knows he’s hurting the woman he loves, tearing his family apart and sacrificing his honor.
     A man may realize the negative impact on his wife, family and himself, but still continue an affair. How? “It’s all in the perception of the cheater,” says Orlando. “If he feels unwanted, undervalued and taken for granted, his personal needs of being wanted, valued and appreciated will win out.”

Fact #12: The wife’s not to blame if her husband cheats on her.
     Realize this: If your husband is unfaithful, it’s not your fault, no matter what people say. “When a man cheats, he’s making a conscious choice to do it,” says Dr. Brosh. “The idea of being pushed into the arms of another woman is an expression, not a reality.” Orlando echoes this sentiment: “Men don’t cheat because of who she is; they cheat because of who they’re not,” he says. “The ‘fault’ is that the signs of disconnection have been ignored by both parties.” 

 *Names have been changed
 Original article appeared on WomansDay.com.
Contents copied from
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/12-surprising-facts-cheating-173300760.html

A Drunk Driver’s Way Out

  Driving home from the mall with my daughter sleeping, I switched the radio to an AM station hoping to listen to some news.  I came across a radio station where someone was being interviewed about preventing drunk drivers from driving but still get home safely with their cars.  All you need to do is call them and ask for their help, for a minimal fee of course (your life is definitely worth more than that fee). 

  The service is called “Driver-on-Call” offered by Lifeline Rescue.  The concept is based on the saying “prevention is better than cure”.  They will provide you a trained professional driver to drive you home in your own car.  It makes perfect sense as one of his explanation regarding this service was that it will cost more sending an ambulance with at least 3-4 paramedics in case you get into a car accident plus the possibility of serious injuries or even getting you killed.  A few points that I think is important about the service is enumerated below.

  1. When you call them, they will not ask why but just send you assistance. Them acting first before asking questions ensures that your safety is placed above everything else. 
  2. They will send 2 people and a car to your location in approximately 30 mins. The first person is there to drive your car for you and the second is to ensure that the first person has a means of transportation after you’re safely home.
  3. This is not only exclusive to drunk people that needs to drive home but also to those who have difficulty driving, e.g. sprained ankle rendering you incapable of driving, under medication and is not in any condition to be driving a vehicle.
  4. Lastly, the service costs only Php500.00. Your own life is definitely worth more than this.

  Being someone who had first-hand experience wrecking a car because of driving under the influence, I find this service very reassuring and comforting. However, we need to remember that they are not a taxi service and should only be called whenever there’s an emergency.

For more information regarding the service, visit http://www.lifeline.com.ph/

To book a driver, please dial Lifeline’s Hotline 16-911 or alternative numbers 839-2520 to 30 and 0917-54-16911. It is preferable that 30 minute advanced notification be given to allow for the timely dispatch of the Lifeline vehicle. Fee shall be in the amount of Php500.00 per trip within Metro Manila, paid after the service.

I am 2012 – a year-end summary

As a 2011 year-ender, I have compiled this monthly summary of everything that has happened to me.

January: I started 2011 unemployed. On the 2nd week of the month, I got a new job with fantastic people around me. I don’t get paid as much as I used to but then again, who wants money and not be happy at the same time?

February: Me and the whole team successfully launched our new program. we are taking baby steps and we will eventually perform as expected from a fantastic team such as ours. Start of February also marked the date that me and my family moved out to our own place.  Rented out a place in Pasig while waiting for my Condo unit to be fully renovated.

March: Our program is starting to perform as expected of our team.

April: I was assigned my very own team of Technical Support Professionals and we have been working like clockwork firing on all cylinders. Before the month ended, I was pulled out from Setup and was tasked to spearhead Networking as the 3rd Line of Business to be launched under our program.

May: Using our experiences gained from launching Setup last February, we performed better than expected.  We hit the ground running and was exceptionally good at what we were doing.

June: Finally, additional support was added to our Networking family making it more efficient than ever.

July: Another new addition to our family prompted a reshuffle of teams.  This resulted in a sub-par performance from my team. I considered this a challenge that will be overcomed by hardwork and efficiency.

August: as expected from my team of exceptionally hardworking Support Professionals, we have exceeded our goals and have proven that it’s only a matter of time before we can be back on top.

September: my new place is finally fully renovated and ready for me to move in. After spending almost 3 full days of moving out and in resulting in exhaustion but with a sense of fulfillment, I have a place to call my own. One setback was when my daughter was rushed to the hospital because of a seizure.  She ended up doing well and hopefully this is the first and the last time that this happens.

October: My month.  The first time I celebrated my birthday with my own family. My loving wife and amazingly smart daughter. The first time celebrating my day with me and my family in my own place.

November: Blessings continued to pour in and I have been a recipient of all of it.

December: We spent Christmas with my family at my Parents’ house. Gifts opened under the tree and my sister home with her husband celebrating Christmas together.

Summary: A marvelous year full of blessings. A loving wife backing me up all the way and a lovely daughter to make all the hardships look like tiny bumps on a long roadtrip. I have nothing but thanks for everything.

Looking forward: 2012 is the Year of the Dragon.  Being born as a Dragon myself, I will make this coming year mine. I will not wait for it to fall on my lap but rather take it and make it mine. I AM 2012.

Pacquiao vs Marquez III – Making sense out of it

Still unfinished

  November 12, 2011 (13th Manila Time), the 3rd meeting between the only 8-Division champion Manny Pacquiao and 3-Division Mexican warrior Juan Manuel Marquez has concluded.  This, however, did not answer the questions that have been lingering for the past 2 wars that they’ve fought.  I personally think the fight was won by Marquez simply because he landed clearer and crisper punches.  Now don’t go on hatin’ on me, I am a Pac-fan all the way but most of all am also a Boxing fan.  I try to look at fights objectively and my personal results is opposite the actual.  Now, a win is a win and I’m sure Pacquiao will take that win and so would I as a Filipino and a Pac-fan, which made me take the time to analyze where I could have been wrong in scoring that fight.  I have come up with a few reasons and hopefully I get some feedback from people who have seen the fight. I want to know what they think of the list and the fight itself. 

Reasons why Marquez lost the fight to Pacquiao.

  1. Marquez kept on waiting for Pac to make his move. This is mainly because he is a very good counter-puncher and unless Manny attacks, there’s nothing to counter.  He needs to be the aggressor simply because he is the challenger.
  2. In relation to number 1, Pacman being the champion is the one dictating the fight tempo.  Again, Marquez is the challenger and he cannot simply wait for the belt to drop on to his lap but rather take it from the champ.
  3. Marquez was back-pedalling most of the latter rounds, probably because Nacho Beristain told his fighter that he was actually leading on points. Big, big mistake on the part of his trainer to get the fighter’s hope too high.
  4. There were too many rounds that were “too-close-to-call”. In cases like this, even though the judges can actually give a 10-10 score for a round, most of the time they simply give it to the aggressor.

  There are probably other reasons why Marquez lost but I will say it again, I personally believe Marquez did enough damage and won enough rounds to merit a decision or at least another draw.  Oh, and NO, do not give me that bullshit about Pacquiao throwing and landing more punches than Marquez.  If punch-stats are going to be the basis of a decision then we won’t be needing Boxing Judges now do we?

Unfortunately, the unfinished business remained unfinished for these two warriors.

WHAT YOU KNOW IS WHERE YOU GO

“The more I learn, the more I know what I want to be.”

This is a sign that I have always seen on my way home posted just before a bridge. It’s a very small sign and is barely noticeable by the people passing by. I’ve been passing by it and keep on reading it for the past month and it never stops stirring my thoughts.

Why is it posted there? Who posted it there? When was it posted there and for what reason? Do the answers to these questions really matter? I guess not. What matters is what it does to people that gets to read it.

I’ve always been a keen observer when I travel, unless I’m asleep, and I always take notice of the signs that I see. I heed the warnings (traffic signs), laugh at erroneous signs and marvel at smart and mind-stimulating signs. Now, let’s focus on this sign that I always see whenever I’m on my way home and see what I can make of it. Some other quotes come to mind when I see it on my way home such as, “Knowledge is Power” or “Knowing makes you stop asking the Whys”. I tried to apply this to myself by associating it with my job. I have never thought that I would be in the industry that I am in nor have I ever wanted to be in it before. I’ve seen it as a job that can be done by almost anybody who speaks the language and have, at once in my life, looked down on it. Then came an opportunity for me to be in it. I grabbed it, hesitantly, and have learned the ins and the outs of the business. I got promoted and am now aiming for more. I have mentored people that have been successful in the same industry with some of them overtaking me (An achievement I take pride in). Looking at the bigger picture, it’s not about me nor the people that have succeeded in it that I have been a part of but rather the image of me and them learning and finding a path to success. By learning the business I knew that I can excel in it and I can make a career out of it. I guess this is the part where that “sign” applies to me.

Gist:

I never liked the business nor wanted to be a part of it because I did not understand what it was all about. The moment I learned and understood it was the time I knew it was something I wanted to be associated with.

Moral:

Do not judge an industry, a profession or even a person if you do not fully understand the nature of it. Maybe I can try and learn how to make a table and a chair and want to be a carpenter. Maybe I can try and learn how to cook and be a chef. Maybe I can try and understand how to be corrupt and be a politician. (This is supposed to be a joke)

Closing:

Is there any profession, industry, business that you don’t want to be in that you don’t really understand? Try and be in their shoes before even trying to pass judgment.

I KNOW SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT YOU

I hate talking about people when they can’t defend themselves at that very moment. This has been a personal belief that I have adopted from people that I have been with along the way. Some of the people that influenced me to adopt this thinking are those from work, family, friends and strangers that I’ve had discussions, arguments or just simple conversations. I want people to not think of me as someone who would make negative comments about them when their backs are turned against me. So does that mean I will not provide negative comments about them? Of course not, I will still give negative comments, as well as positive, about them. The only difference is I will do this in front of them. I will tell them the things I don’t agree about them and let them say their piece. Not that I hate them, just being open to understanding the why behind it.

Reading through my daily paper, I came across an article. This section is about things that makes you wonder and think about the good and the bad and then decide on which path you want to go. But before I continue using this article as a reference, I would first give credit to the author of this article so I will not be accused of plagiarism. This is an article by Bella Angeles Abangan entitled “Inspirasyon ng Kapwa” under the section “Lakbay Diwa” from Tempo dated Feb 28, 2011. She quoted a paragraph, not sure if it is a poem, entitled “I know something good about you”.

“I KNOW SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT YOU”

Wouldn’t this world be better?

If the folks we may meet would say,

“I know something good about you,”

And just treat the way?

Wouldn’t it be fine and dandy?

If each handclasp warm and true,

Carried it with this assurance,

“I know something good about you,”

Wouldn’t life be lots more happy?

If the good that’s in us all

Was the only thing about us?

That folds bothered to recall?

Wouldn’t life be lots more happy?

If we praised the good we see?

For there’s such a lot of goodness

In the worst of you and me.

Wouldn’t it be nice to practice?

That fine way of thinking, too.

You know something good about me.

I know something good about you.

My thoughts on the article:

I agree on almost all of the points that she mentioned. People spend time talking about other people talking about what? Bad things that they said, did and attitudes that they don’t agree with. She had the best suggestion that I have read regarding employees that talks about their bosses negatively. Translated, “Whoever dislikes the way things are run by the Boss should simply just leave/resign.” This by far makes the most sense. Not saying that people shouldn’t spend time talking to each other exchanging ideas about other people. It’s all well and good, but why can’t we just talk about the good things about these people? How would you feel if someone you don’t even know comes up to you and tells you, “Hey, I know something good about you”? Doesn’t that make you feel better? Then this person name-drops his source by saying, “I talked to , one of your colleagues and told me that you are the best at what you do.”

Final Thoughts:

I have been thinking of what the effects of the suggestions above will be. So far, I have not come up with anything negative. I will give this a try starting today and by posting this in my blog, I hope I get others to do the same. I will change my attitude of not talking about people in their backs to “talking about these people and saying something good about them”.

One more thing I would like to add that is a really good suggestion. “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.”

/oaml